Déjà vu All Over Again

How is it that no matter what we do, or how hard we try to change things, we seem to always find ourselves back looking at the same situations, the same dilemmas? If the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different result than I am definitely completely nuts, thankfully I am confident that I am in no way alone. Then there is the old standby, “history is doomed to repeat itself.”

Not sure I got that last one right, but you get my point. I am a giant gerbil running on a wheel and I just don’t seem to have the sense to stop, or maybe the know how to jump off. To some extent or another we all are, and I take comfort in the fact that I am not alone, but at the same time would love to find a way get off the wheel even if just for a little while to see what it is like to not be running, to not keep seeing the same pieces of the wheel coming back again.

The other side of course is that there are things that I would have to change in the way I like at life, and at people, and choices I have made about who I am that I simply don’t want to change. Most notably, I believe that deep down all people are good, and that everyone deserves a chance. If I can help someone I am going to do so. When you take this approach you are going to be disappointed, you are going to be hurt, and you are going to have a whole bunch of people saying I told you so, or telling you that you were foolish to trust that person, to give them a chance, to reach out. So what.

This is something I am never going to stop. Seeing the few victories in this approach make it worth doing, and if it is true that I continue to “look the fool,” then so be it. I would rather look the fool and see someone achieve something that no one thought achievable, especially the person in question, than worry about appearances and let someone fail.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.