...Too the Devil

Not doing what is meant
Not doing what is wanted
Not sure what that is
Sure this is not it
Not the worst just not the best
Just playing another role
Been playing them forever
Never really been me
Always been what was supposed to be, expected, planned

Forgot how to think long ago
Forgot how to decide
Do for others, what is best, what makes them happy
'Till it doesn't
Try to figure out why, what did I do wrong? What is wrong with me?
Nothing for a moment
Then start again

So much in me has never come out, not enough anyway
Little glimpses now and again
Just enough to know I don't know, am not me

Not crazy
Not wacky go nuts
Not loud
Not fun
Not funny
Just not
Should be, but just not

Too late
Too old
Too tired
Too broken

Bones
Joints
Muscles
Ligaments

Just broken
Just not
Just
Me...

Thank you again for getting this far with me.