Fatherhood

It may very well be true that there is a certain degree of social ineptitude on my part when it comes to those in my age bracket, give or take 20 years, but it has also always been true that old people and kids love me.  The irony there is that with older people I am very patient and very kind, but I also tend to relate to them as kids to a certain extent, where kids, I have always found respond better if I treat them, and speak to them, as grown ups, or as grown up as possible.

When I was in college there was a little boy next door, 3 or 4 years old, that was yelled at, disciplined and almost unwanted when he was home.  Then when I was asked to watch him we would do things together, like cooking, or cleaning.  Simple stuff, and not really intense, but I would speak to him as if he were someone I could count on and give him little tasks to do, and we always enjoyed our time together.

I love kids, and I always have.  Even the work I do with youth kids coaching goes well because the kids from 4 to 14 respond very well.  Teaching skiing was the same way.  I was terrified when I first taught skiing of the prospect of teaching kids, not because of the teaching part, but because of the immense responsibility of having six to eight kids to keep alive for two hours.

After I had been teaching for a few years I began to teach kids, everything from the "never evers" and "half pints" to the higher end semi privates for three to six hours of keeping them entertained, safe, warm, and learning, and not only did my students love it, but so did I.

I do not know that I could do the infant stage, as I still to this do have never changed a diaper, a record I would like not to break, but once they are mobile and starting to be a handful, that is the stuff I know I am good at.  I also don't know about having a girl, as I would be very tempted to lock her in a closet, or shoot anyone that looked at her, or both, but I know that what my friends and family have always said is true, I would in fact make a good father.

Problem is, with as incredibly single as I am, and have been for some time, I doubt that Fatherhood is in my future at this point.  Too bad really.  Fatherhood is something that was always in the plan.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

...Or Is It

7
13
17
18
21
22
24
37
40
41
43
44
45

Film at 11:00.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

Why Not Write

Too much time spent on others combined with too little care about me.

Trying to focus more on what matters to me, but don't know how.

Need to start writing more often just to eat, sleep, breath.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

2011 Bracket

I know this is lame, but can't help it.  This is about all I have the brainpower to do right now.

If the MCLA tourney committee meets for more than 5 minutes tonight, four to say hello and 1 to agree, there is a problem.  Their jobs got easy when SUNY Buffalo upset BC to grab the last AQ.  That eliminated the debate over Utah or UCF because now neither one gets in.  Here is what the answer should now be:

1. Michigan
2. Colorado State
3. BYU
4. Chapman
5. Arizona State
6. Michigan State
7. Colorado
8. Texas
9. Florida State
10. Boston College
11. Cal Poly
12. Oregon
13. UCSB
14. SUNY Buffalo
15. Minnesota Duluth
16. Lindenwood

I call it like I see it.  The only team outside of the top 10 that gets in other than an AQ is UCSB, which is funny because they actually deserve it this year.  That gives the SLC 3 teams and the RMLC 3 teams.  Utah is the odd team out...again.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

No Way to Know

I walked into an office today that I was asked to visit and walked out with a sizable sponsorship for our team.  The point?  I am best one on one, or commanding a team.  I am a reluctant leader, and a sensitive lover.  I am giving and generous, not just to a fault, but to my own detriment.  I am both right and left brained, apparently, because I can act, write, paint, and design bridges, build buildings and teach math.

I don't even get me, but am still trying.  I am a geek, and a jock, an artist, and a scientist.  An introverted extrovert, or an extroverted introvert.  I can watch movies all day long or vedge out n front of a TV.  I can get more done in an hour or a day than most people can in a month, and with all of this said, I am the least secure person I know.

If I won the lottery I would keep just enough to live modestly on( nice house, new Volvo XC to replace the one I have now and finally the Porsch Carrera that I have wanted forever, and almost bought when I lived in Europe, just to honor my Uncle Ed) and then I would divide the rest up between my mom, my three sisters and my nieces and nephews, plus the friends that have always been there for me.  Whatever was left would go to cancer research.

If you are looking for a sugar daddy then you are right we are not a match, because I have taken care of everyone else all my life and left little for myself.  Other than that all you can say is that you do not want to get to know me, or find out, because you don't KNOW me at all.

Text, phone, e-mail, that is no way to communicate let alone get to know someone.  Touch, smell, feel, look, listen, breath...that is the only way...

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

The Last of the Truly Great Men

What is most amazing about my uncle Ed is that as successful as he was, as talented as he was, as amazing a man, he always supported me, helped me, encouraged me, without any judgement whatsoever!!

Edward Donatelli is gone.  He passed this morning.  For him it was a long time coming, for me, and for us, it is far too soon.

Uncle Ed was a man among men, but in a quiet and unassuming way.  He drove the most amazing car ever made, the Porsche Carrera. He flew planes.  He built a plane in the basement of the office, or at least he worked on it for a long time, I never did see it finished.  He and his brothers built big buildings together, in my mind they built the city of Providence.

More than that though, Uncle Ed was a cornerstone of our family. He was solid, consistent, quiet, caring, thoughtful.  He loved his wife more than anything and was always there for her right to the end of her days, and ultimately to the beginning of the end for him.  He was there for his son, Little Eddy, imaginative knick name I know, and he was very much there for his grandsons Craig and Kieth, who were in turn there for him, both in their own ways.

He always made time for me and me for him.  I would always visit "the street" on my way into and/or out of Rhode Island, and then later into or out of New England, and as time wore on "the street" shrunk to parking in front of Uncle Ed's, go in to see him, walk across the street to see Red and Uncle Baby and then drive away.

A year or so ago, maybe a little longer they made me stop bringing him Hot Weiners.  Also the last time I have had one.  Not sure I ever will again now.  I also had to stop taking him for a drive in whatever car I had rented.  Nobody ever really knew this, but the faster the car I could rent the happier it made him.. Man he loved the red Mustang Convertible.  We didn't go far, but that didn't matter, he loved it just the same.

Visiting the office always followed the same pattern, bug Gram, say hello to uncle Anthony, go down the hall and say hello to Uncle Bobby as he leaned over whatever he was estimating at that moment, pipe in hand, or between his teeth, and then find Uncle Eddy and proceed downstairs to get the update on the plane.

With his passing goes what is left of the past, the good old days, growing up surrounded by family.  They are all gone now, those that represent the past.  Uncle Bobby is thankfully still here, but being a year older than dad he was almost a different generation.  There is a picture of the older five somewhere, no Uncle Bobby and no Gram, but such a great picture.  Wonder where that is now.  Everyone in it are now sitting around a table, a table full of amazing food prepared by Gram, with their wives and Gramps, all having a blast and talking about the good old days.

Thank you Uncle Eddy for believing in me, or for loving me no matter what, or both.  I am glad that going West made yo so happy, but I am sorry I couldn't have been with you more.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.

Time

I don't care if your are ten or a hundred, make that 99 1/2, sweet or evil, no one deserves to die, and no one should go before their time, before they are done.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.