The Death of Common Courtesy

So I am standing in front of a barber shop today, having a conversation with my barber, when another gentlemen, younger man, joins us and says “hello,” but then just is standing there enjoying the day. He suddenly has an urgent need to spit, people do from time to time, so he decides why move I will just spit. I could almost see the cartoon bubble above his head with all the question marks in it. Next thing I know he has spit directly in front of the entrance to the shop!! I of course said “dude, did you really just do that.” His reply was a very simple, and convincing “what??” Absolutely no clue.

I was hesitant as to whether or not to use this particular story to introduce this topic, but it was so amazingly inappropriate to me for someone to do this, and I hope to most people, but I am really beginning to wonder.

Let’s start with simple things like the next time you go to dinner, or are walking around town, just take note of how many couples go to get into their car and open their own doors, or the next time you are out driving around town see how many people make eye contact, wave, or say thank you for stopping the car and not running them over while they cross the street. Yes I do know that the law says you have to stop if they are in a crosswalk, but I do not remember ever reading anything about it being illegal for eye contact to be made.

Do random strangers hold a door open for you, women, men? Guys when was the last time another guy held a door open for you while entering a building? When was the last time any of you remember seeing someone struggling to get the groceries to the car and then seeing some random stranger rush over to get the car door for them? Even simpler, you are rushing to get groceries and then get home to the starving kids, husband, cat, whatever, and there is someone else rushing, do you take the second and a half it would take to get them a cart first or do you run them over?

Another little event occurred today that was also amazing to me. An 89 year old woman, did not know her age at the time, but did notice that the one bag she was carrying was way too heavy for her, was crossing a four lane road, two in each direction, with a turning lane between them…are you frightened yet? It gets worse. So she was crossing five lanes of traffic, at about 5:30 in the afternoon, and yes a couple of people stopped their trucks for her, but a number of people went around her…and beeped…and no one, of the half dozen people watching this event thought “gee maybe I should say something, or help her in any way.” Again, I saw a bunch more little cartoon balloons and dozens of questions marks, and a couple of “huhs” floating through the air. I was on my mobile phone with my father and said to him “hey I have to call you back there is a really old lady trying to get herself run over.” I went to the middle of the road as quickly as possible and helped her to the other side and then carried her bag for her to the bus stop.

The next time you are in an airport, or a mall, count how many times someone walks right in front of you, or through you, without even breaking stride, or missing a beat of their conversation on their mobile. Of course that call is to solve world hunger so I guess it is ok.

In case you can’t tell, I am frustrated. When did doing something nice for someone become a big deal? When did common courtesy begin to warrant a big thank you, or fanfare? If you are traveling alone on an airplane and a couple gets on and does the aisle split and goes their separate ways, how hard is it to switch with them and let them sit together? Not hard, but this has become something that gets noticed as a major act of kindness, when it used to be called manners, respect, common courtesy.

I am not asking for people to pay for the car behind them when they go through a toll, or pay for someone’s coffee when they have forgotten their wallet, I would like to, but I am not, I am asking that we all go back to please and thank you, you’re welcome and have a nice day, excuse me and I’m sorry I did not see you there. I think if we all start there people will begin to smile more, the overall stress level on the planet will go down, and eventually there will be less violence in the world…eventually.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.