Oh God

Friends of mine have been telling me for years now that God is trying to “get my attention.” They say this based on the path that my life has followed. My response is always the same, “I was put here for amusement purposes only. I am God’s comedic relief.” What else could explain this bizarre and crazy path?

I don’t know if God goes around trying to get people’s attention, and I definitely don’t know if he is trying to get mine. Oops, I said he, and of course I would have no way of knowing if God is a man, a woman, or some combination thereof. I don’t know if God exists, so I definitely don’t know what race, creed, color God is. Yet another of my favorite movie lines, “there are two things of which I am certain, there is a God, and I am not him.” I am actually not certain of either of those things, but I am pretty certain of the latter, although, if I were God that would sure explain the sorry state our planet is in right now.

I am not God. I am about as far away from being God as is possible. I do believe there is a God, or at least believe there is a higher power “behind the curtain.” I also know that God or not, higher power or not, if I am going to enjoy my third life I am going to have to be the one that makes that work. Not that there isn’t a plan, and not that fate does not play a part in all that happens, but even the most advanced form of “autopilot” still needs someone to point the craft in the right direction, set the course and turn the thing on. We have not yet reached “USS Enterprise” capabilities in domestic, international or space travel, and I would have to say this is true with the spiritual and emotional journeys that we are on as well.

Much of the time I would say I find myself hoping there isn’t a God, or wondering how there could be, with all that goes on these days, all that has happened in the world. 9/11 was a horrible day, a horrible event, and not something that a rational mind would say were possible if God exists; Katrina, the fires last summer in Northern California, the rapes, and child molestation, and senseless murders that occur every day, all around the world, and in our back yards.

It is comforting to send your thoughts out there and believe that there is someone listening. It has always been comforting for me to walk into an empty church, or cathedral, and light a candle and say a prayer for, or to, those that are no longer with us. I just have trouble making sense of the existence or not in my head, but I guess that is a part of the journey as well, whether there is a God or not. Even if there is a God, and even if this God had a master plan, why would he (she), have given us the ability to think, wonder, ponder, question if he did not want that to be a part of our journey.

This is what came out tonight as I started to type and so this is what I wish to share.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.