The One that Got Away

I am not talking about a fish here, although going back for a minute to my oldest friend, he and his father will tell you that somehow when we were very young we had all gone fishing for the day and the only one to catch the “big one” was me, the youngest and least experienced of the lot. He and his father, the original Marlboro Man, literally and figuratively, are the hunters, the outdoorsman, and I was just a lucky little kid that day I guess, but enough of that.

The one that got away for me is now hugely successful, still drop dead gorgeous, extremely intelligent and incredibly sweet, she is also someone that none of my friends or family ever knew, so if they are reading this now they can put away their lists.

I was working as a global consultant for one of the “Big Six” consulting firms at the time, boy has that all changed, this one was actually the biggest and the best, and they still are, but that meant that I did not have much time for anything other than work. The job was nothing but travel, especially back then, pre 9/11, pre economic crunch, car manufacturers disappearing, airlines being bailed out over and over, no this was the time of excess, with amazing flights and service and ease of travel from one side of the globe to the other.

I had been traveling so much that an “old football injury,” yes I do now have those, was really starting to bother me. Basically, my left shoulder had become so lose that it was floating too much and there was a great deal of what they call “bone on bone” contact. It was to the point that to push on a revolving door hurt it too much. I decided that I had to see someone to find out how bad it was and what could be done, and given what I was doing at the time, the way I did it, and the time pressures associated, we did not take much chance when it came to anything, especially when it came to doctor care.

I decided that the best option was going to be to find an orthopod, or orthopedic surgeon, that I knew was as good as it gets. I was officially working out of the Chicago office and so I decided to call up Northwestern University’s Football Office and ask who their orthopod was for shoulders. We had a connection with the firm because their head coach at the time had spoken to multiple groups for us.

Once I had the contact information I reached out to his office to schedule an appointment to get the shoulder evaluated. The only problem was that the woman that answered the phone for the doctor, and scheduled all of his appointments, threw me as soon as we started talking. “Verbal sparring” for me is very important in people, women, with whom I spend time. There is a certain amount of intelligence, confidence, and craziness, good crazy not bad, that is required to be good at the art of verbal sparring and this young lady was more than good this particular art. I actually found myself, after a period of time, making up reasons to call the office to ask questions or to get more information. This went on for quite some time before I actually went in for the appointment.

Something I did not know until later, she was looking forward to these calls as much as I was, and while I had reached a point where I had gotten it in my head that if there was a physical attraction, a chemistry, to go with the connection we, or at least I, already felt, I was absolutely going to have to marry this women.

After a solid month of calls, and follow-up, and questions in both directions, some related to the shoulder, and some not, I finally had the appointment. When the appointment was over I asked to speak with her and she came out of the back office, the administrative offices to say hello, and I am pretty certain that in that moment I lost the ability to speak, and perhaps even to breath. This woman was stunning, with a smile that matched her personality, part smartass, part sweet mid-western girl. I was doomed.

We said our brief hello, she tried to be somewhat professional and ask if everything went ok, were there any questions, stuff like that, but basically it was just a bunch of noise in my head, like the 4th of july had come early just for me, I could hear nothing and think of even less.

I remember leaving the office, going down the street to a pay phone; yes they still had them at this time, and calling her office to apologize for being a babbling idiot and embarrassing her in front of her coworkers. She just laughed it off and made me feel better about the entire encounter, so much better that we continued to speak regularly after that point. Of course we still had to because I had surgery to schedule and pre-surgery whatever they call it, and post surgery appointments, but most of all I had to speak to this amazing woman as often as possible.

One thing that came up from time to time during these conversations, as they moved from mostly doctor related to mostly not, was that there was a strict policy of not dating patients, that was just something to deal with eventually, and eventually was going to be once my last post surgery appointment was concluded, all the billing was done, and I had been cleared to go back to work. I could not wait, through thirteen seasons as a high school and college athlete; I had never wanted any injury to heal faster. It eventually did.
Once there was no more need for me to see the doctor, and to visit the office, I had to call to see what her thoughts were on the end of me as a patient, they were very much the same as mine, and so a plan was hatched. I vaguely remember a lunch or something near her office, but not certain, but do remember what I have ever since referred to as “the greatest first date in history,” at least my history.

I very much enjoy Toronto, I had been there every week for fifteen months with a client, and got to where Toronto felt like a second home. The people are extremely nice, although this was during the Blue Jay’s run to two consecutive world series, so there was some issue dealing with the gloating, and it was also during the Bull’s bid to win a championship without Michael, part 1, and famous phantom foul on Scottie Pippen, which if you can get a Canadian sports bar to put on NBA basketball instead of hockey and curling…yes curling…good luck.

Anyway, this is a clean, safe city, with great food and great theatre and so I decided that to fly up for the weekend, see a show, eat some great food, pick up a couple of European cut suits along the way would make for a great weekend, it didn’t really feel like a first date anyway since we had already gotten to know each other so well. The most important thing was that she said yes, I don’t know how, or why, but she said yes and I was delighted, scared out of my mind, but delighted. Now it was time for me to do what I do, put together a weekend she would not forget.

We flew first class; we stayed downtown in the nicest hotel and the nicest room I could find. We had dinner each night at two of my favorite restaurants, we had tickets to Phantom on Saturday night, seventh row center, there is no better seat for that show. We went to the stage door afterward and I introduced her to Peter Karre, the Phantom, and we walked with him for a bit on his way home. She was swept off her feet. As Harrison Ford’s character says in Sabrina, “after a few days of that she would have fallen for Noriega.” He was not speaking of my date for this weekend at the time, but he may well have been.

Ok this is the part where you may want to remove anything from the room that could potentially be thrown at the computer. We did not get married. We did not really date. We did lose touch sort of, which means every time I go through the process of cleaning out my contact information, as I did this afternoon, I run across her cell phone number and I call her to say hello. I always hear the same exact tone in her voice, that one of is it really you, and there is still a spot in my heart, and why didn’t you make this work. All of what I can hear in her voice makes me feel guilty, and stupid, and sad all at the same time.

After all, she is married now, just had a baby, well last year, has a thriving practice with her husband, who I very smart, very capable, and a great business man. I am still single, and it is because I always seem to find a way to screw up the good things and stick with the bad…yes dad the first step is to admitting you have a problem.

She has an amazing voice, an amazing smile, an amazing sense of humor and intellect, and the greatest name of any woman ever, and she is definitely the one that got away.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.