Dead Man Walking

I am a 26 year old kid in a 46 year old body, with a 66 year old heart, or maybe a 46 year old heart with a 66 year old body, I am not sure. I have tried a number of things in my 46 years, some successful, some not, I guess, although everyone's definition of successful is different. More often than not these days I feel as though I am simply walking around in a shell, my passion, my intensity, my sole seemingly gone.

The simple answer is that I have let "them" win. How many times can you here tone it down, it is too much, you are too intense, too serious. These were all good things when I was on a field doing what I loved, or on snow, or in a classroom, or in a conference room on the other side of the world. What it comes down to is I have just always been too...

Now, as my body, which I asked way too much of for too long, is broken. From my toes to my head, literally. I watched a piece the other day with Harry Carson of the New York Giants speaking about the issues professional football players have to deal with related to post concussion syndrome. I knew far too well every bit of what they were discussing, I was never famous, but I was fearless for way too long. I did not realize just how much we pay for each thing we do to our bodies.

I can't ski now, I can't really run, I can jog a little, haven't played basketball or hockey in forever, and haven't played lacrosse or football in even longer.

You can't undo what you have done in life, nor can you go back and do the things you wish you had done. As it says at the top of the page, "it is what it is," and there ain't much one can do about it.

Thank you again for getting this far with me.