Written tonight to a long time friend and business partner.
It is late and thus this will not make sense and will not be
eloquent.
You have accomplished a great deal in your life, most
notably three amazing kids, a marriage that as you said the other day makes you
happier than most, a home you enjoy, and a business that drives you
crazy. I have accomplished nothing of note to this point in my life, with
playing and coaching being the brief exceptions. I chose to follow in my
uncles footsteps and not my dad’s and as it turns out I am my father’s
son. I am not a business man, I am not really a man at all. I like
chick flicks, I cry at touching commercials, and I am too nice, and too caring
for most women to tolerate. I have been successful in business, to an
extent, in spite of myself. I am extremely intelligent, but not very smart
(sounds like something you might say about me). When I get something I
get it, and when I have my moments of clarity I can stand toe to toe with any
exec on the planet and tell them what I think. I simply don’t like doing
it in the least.
The biggest reason I have been successful at all in business
is not my brain, but rather my heart, my soul, my sense of humor. I use
them all to get people to work with me, if not like me. I am still in
touch with most of my ex clients long after they stopped paying me to call
them, but even with that these are hollow victories because being in business,
being a successful business man, making money and helping others make more are
not things that drive me at all. ... I would not keep talking myself
into packing my bags and making my flights. I flew more last year than I
had in forever. I flew so much I am now a Premier Exec, and was not far
from 1K again. That is too much. I am old, much older than you,
just not in years. My body is beaten, and my mind, my heart and my soul
are almost dead.
The reason I can get people to do things that help us all be
successful is because I am a good coach. The comical part of all of this
is that while not putting in anywhere near the time I should have last year I
earned coach of the year honors, my third time, and I was a part time co-head
coach of a club team. I never have a doubt when I am coaching what the
right thing to do is. I have doubts in business every day, I just fight
through them always going back to what is best ... You have
given me, and continue to give me, a great opportunity to do both. There
is a flexibility here that has worked, but I know I cannot feel like a fake, or
a failure, too much longer. I don’t, and never have, see for me what you
do. If I did then I would have made Damon Enterprises a successful
consulting firm a long time ago.
Klem, and Kehoe, and Macey, and Boling, they all belong in
those rooms having those conversations. When I sold the Verizon work I
called Kevin Charpentier from the ballroom where the offsite was going to take
place to ask him what I was doing there. Kevin reminded me that I
knew what I was doing and that once I started I would be fine, and I was, but
it just is not who I am. Being fat and out of shape is not who I
am. Being single with no one to care for is not who I am, but maybe it is
because putting all my extra time into moronic boys playing games is what I do
instead of family night.
This past weekend ... I realized that I am mortal,
very. I realized that if I did not start moving again now I never
would. I realized that if I did not take care of my tax thing, at least
one little bit at a time, I would go to bed worried every night forever, and so
I started. Every little thing, like cleaning the kitchen, is hard for
me. Paying bills, eating, basic hygiene, are all things I have to remind
myself to do, and if it is not for someone else, it just isn’t important.
Unfortunately that is who I was raised to be, and that is a great part of why I
let those women "take me for a ride," and that is what I am trying to fix now
before it is too late, although to your point, “Rocchio, you know what your problem
is? You thought you had forever,” it may already be too late.
OK. Anyway, we seem to have managed to push to a goal
enough to make Panasonic and ID happy. Whatever it takes to make John’s
guys happy we will figure out, but I just had to let you know it is all smoke
and mirrors.
I am on a plane at 11:00 AM tomorrow and doing lacrosse
stuff through next Friday. As always I will have my phone and you can
call me anytime.
Thank you again for getting this far with me.
Posts
